Today I strolled in to the Gyn Oncology building expecting just a routine exam, no news is good news kind of thing. I was so wrong though. I got so much more than that. I got PHENOMENAL news! My tumor has SHRUNK! My cervix looks like that of a normal woman, not one with cancer and the tumor is so small that he cannot see it, only feel it. I've had three pelvic exams since finding out I have cancer. The first one was bad. The tumor was visible by eyesight, my cervix was in bad shape, Dr. DeGeest was the only doctor that held out any hope for me. Second exam, the tumor was still the same size but looked a lot better, my cervix looked a lot better. Third exam, PHENOMENAL! (I love how casually I can talk about my cervix now. Like its just an arm or a leg. Not that we shouldn't talk about cervix's, it just wasn't something I normally would blog about) .Not only was he impressed at my ability to handle chemo like a champ, but he was so surprised and happy to see how well I am responding to treatment. He also smirked at me as he said, 'So I hear you are keeping up with your workouts'. Clearly rumor of my chemo shenanigans is spreading through the hospital.
On this battlefield of cancer there are daily battles, most of which I win. I won't say I win all of them because that would be a lie, but most of them I come out the victor. Today was one of those days that takes ALL of the bad days and days of feeling shitty and bundles them up in a box and lights them on fire, or maybe blows them up! Today was a REALLY good day!
I have a PET scan on 2/25 (next Tuesday) to see if there are any cancer cells remaining in my lymph nodes and to get an exact measurement of the tumor. Dr. DeGeest said he wouldn't be surprised if the scan showed no cancer in my lymph nodes. He is not the guy to go around making assumptions about anything, so while I'm not hanging my hat on that, I am really encouraged that he would even say something like that.
At this point chemo will be reviewed and determined round by round. Round 5 is on March 6th, my brother's birthday. Round 6 is tentative, but I don't mind going another round as it's working! I'll go as many rounds as they let me if it results in this cancer being gone!
I still don't know what the future holds treatment wise. Very likely it will be daily radiation (Mon-Fri) with weekly chemo at a much lower dose and only one drug for 4-6 weeks. I am a planner so I'm really anxious to find out the plan. But for now I am going to just celebrate the good news.
I can't think of a way to easily transition this from the above but part of my battlefield has included a most remarkable journey towards finding Christ, becoming a Christian. I have had the honor and privilege of attending services at Salem Evangelical and Morning Side Community Church. This Sunday I am going to Church on the Hill. I so look forward to Sunday church services and have been praying that I find the right church, the church to call home. On my way to my appointment this morning I turned the radio to 97.9 and this song came on:
I heard this song on Sunday at Morning Star and it gave me goosebumps then and it did again today (I love that feeling!). As I got out of the truck and walked to the hospital I just prayed for healing. This is new for me, praying, like really praying. And based on today's appointment I like to say that my prayers were heard and answered!
I am still slowly working my way through the book Beautiful Battlefields, purposefully as I really want to take it all in. I wrote down this quote from the author, Bo Stern because it just seemed to perfectly describe my experiences on this battlefield.
'But I'm learning that Jesus shows up when we let other people share the sacred spaces of our pain and joy and sorrow, and our willingness to be authentic gives everyone else permission to be authentic as well'
Oh I have More Than Hope, more now than ever before!