Easing In To My Thirties

It wasn't long ago (although it was pre-cancer) I was telling Matt I wanted a big celebration for our 30th birthdays.  Mexico! Or maybe Vegas! I wanted something big and loud and crazy to say goodbye to my twenties and hello to my thirties.  Our birthdays were anything but big and loud and crazy this  year and you know what? They were perfect!

Life has a way of pushing you, testing you, trying to break you and then giving you just what you need to do it all over again.  Earlier in the week Matt and I (and Po) escaped to the beach, my first time ever leaving Liam overnight! It was quite, peaceful, full of reflection and conversation.  In the midst of our pain and sadness it was the perfect get away.  

This year my birthday marked two months exactly since hearing the C word yet it felt much further away than that.  Plans for my birthday were simple and quite and spent with family and friends.  As I sit here this morning, now in my thirties, I realize that I no longer needed a way to mourn getting older.  Instead I'm celebrating it and what it means.  It means another day, another year, another decade (many many more decades) I can spend with the people and animals (can't leave them out!) that I love.  Getting older means I'm alive and that's a beautiful thing!  I might be sick right (virus sick, not cancer sick) now but within me burns this fire and passion for life that I can literally feel coursing through my body.  

Chemo round 3 is this week.  I am ready for it, possibly excited for it because I know it's working.  I believe it's working and I have physical evidence that it's working.  I welcome my thirties, I welcome chemo and good news and the highs and lows that come with life.  My motto remains the same, More Than Hope.